Wednesday, October 9, 2013


Rountable Discussion

"Does is get easier?"

I'd say, for me, that question doesn't really sit well.  There are just too many variables in my own experience and as a whole, not one single story or perspective is the same.

The knee-jerk reaction?  No, it doesn't get any easier, not really.  But the reflective answer (with regard to some things) is that time does heal to a degree.

As a birthmother, that hole in my heart is there but not as debilitating as it once was.  So in essence, day to day life has certainly become easier. But I honestly feel that's largely due to the openness I have with his family and knowing beyond doubt that he's healthy and happy.

Growing up as an adopted child I didn't struggle with a lot of the issues that some of my other adopted friends dealt with, though I know my parents had extra concerns with regard to my health or behavior.  ADHD and other behavior problems seem prevelant with adoptees, and that can be a life-long struggle for everyone. I always felt loved and even when I finally met my birth-mother I didn't feel abandoned or any struggles of the heart with regard to her giving me up.

Adoption is such a personal and profound issue that I don't beleive it can be neatly boxed into a yes or no answer.  What has gotten easier for me may be even more devestating for someone else in the same situation.   I think it's such a simple question, that doesn't get asked often- and I most certainly think it's one of the most important we can ask (and answer) ourselves.

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